Souled Out Read online

  I had unlimited resources at my beckoning, but it was clear that money couldn’t fix what was wrong with me. Something needed to change.

  I needed to change.

  Chapter Seven

  The only immediate thing I could think to do was hang out at Two Cents. It was the best place to think. Of course, it complicated things when I couldn’t seem to get away from my number one vampire stalker moonlighting as a thief.

  He was wearing a loose, long-sleeve black shirt, baggy green cargo-pants, and the same ratty flip-flops from yesterday evening. On anyone else those shoes would have been unforgivable. But somewhere in the recesses of my mind I had already established that he would look attractive in a rain poncho and a fanny pack. Didn’t mean anything. So he was cute. So what?

  Why was he there? I wanted to feel more social, not be more social. We made eye contact before I could look away. Had I woken up into another nightmare? It was the only explanation. If vampire ducks flew through the bar, I would be certain.

  He hopped onto the barstool, exclaiming, “My name’s Seth.”

  I stared at the bar. “I don’t care.”

  “You should.”

  “Not really.”

  “You’re supposed to ask why?”

  “Why?” I sighed.

  “Because—wait, did you say why because I asked or because you don’t know why you should say why?”

  “The former.”

  “Oh. Well, you ruined the pickup line.”

  “That’s okay. I like being well-grounded.”

  I could almost hear him trying to think of something cool to say back. Why was he trying so hard? There wasn’t room in my life for a guy. I worked. I came and went whenever. It would be unwise to have someone around asking questions that had no answers I wished to share.

  On the other hand, I had been so depressed. It might help to talk to someone else without being hostile. When all else fails, try something new. Being chatty was new. Taking a chance was new.

  This was the change I needed to make.

  Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Why did you rob the store?”

  An interesting conversation never killed the cat.

  Hopefully.

  “Wow, jump right into it. A second ago you didn’t care what my name was and now you want to know my personal motives?”

  “If you knew me, you would take this as a miracle. I’m more content to sit here by myself. Then again, if you knew me, you’d probably leave me alone.”

  “You don’t scare me.” He was almost offended.

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “What did you mean, then?”

  “Never mind. Nice talking to you.”

  Well, I just earned my first-place ribbon for failure. Conversation killer, that’s me. Sitting in awkward silence just drove it home. Why was I trying to be anything other than what I was? I mean, who I was.

  You can’t live as a shadow because there’s nothing real about a shadow. There are no defining details, no real essence. It’s a mimic. And that’s all I could ever be. My emotions mimicked something real that didn’t belong to me anymore.

  “I was bored.”

  His soothing voice broke my thoughts. He was still there. Most people would have fled the second they saw my eyes glaze over.

  Confused, I blinked before asking, “What?”

  “I robbed the store because I was bored. It was just something to do. Sorry to disappoint you. No hidden motives.”

  “Normal bored people don’t turn to crime for giggles.”

  “I’m a vampire. What do I have to lose?”

  It was rhetorical, but I answered anyway. “Your head. Your heart. Your—” I thought to myself, soul.

  “I get it. But being immortal gets repetitive sometimes.”

  “Believe me, you don’t have to explain.”

  He gave me an odd look. I couldn’t quite figure it out. Maybe it was acknowledgement. I wanted to ask what was so repetitive, but that was too personal and, selfishly, he might ask the same. Not a question I wanted to answer out loud. It was something I breathed and ate, but not something to profess to a stranger. I could, however, offer simple information.

  “My name’s Ell.”

  “Okay. Would you like a beer, Ell?”

  That was unexpected, though not unthinkable since we were, in fact, in a bar. Should I drink? I had to meet Gabriel soon. Normally we scheduled the prospects the first Monday of every month. For some reason, he had been adamant at the last minute that we meet tonight, a Saturday. And when I’d agreed to the early meeting I hadn’t known I would have any clashing plans.

  I sat there watching Seth wait for my answer. He didn’t make a face or tell me to hurry up and make an easy decision. He was undoubtedly a stranger, but his company almost felt peaceful, like maybe how it felt to have a friend. What the frick? One drink wouldn’t hurt.

  Convincing myself that I had made a wise decision, I said, “ Just one.”

  His expression was pure relief. He had really been worried I would say no. Seth quickly smiled. With a slight head nod, he said, “Cool.”

  And with that, he flagged Danny over, who brought two beers faster than I could say “yo mama.” Danny didn’t serve me that often. I never bothered him and he never bothered me. So I knew it would be a treat to have my patronage, with added company.

  “Thanks, Danny.”

  He winked before walking back to the other end of the long mahogany bar. Great.

  We sat in silence for quite a while, but again, it was tranquil. I was almost done when Seth said, “Thanks for letting me buy you a beer. I figured you’d bolt faster than you did yesterday.”

  “Well, you outlasted everyone else. Guess that wins you an hour, so make it good.”

  “I didn’t know we had a time limit. Danny, two more! I’m on a time limit over here!”

  “I don’t need another one.”

  “What’s one more?”

  “I don’t drink much.”

  “For a girl who spends all her extracurricular time in a bar, that lie reeks.”

  I corrected, “I hang out here more than other people, but not to drink.”

  Danny set the new beers in front of us.

  “Yeah, you just hang out for the company.” Seth chuckled, but he was closer to the truth than he knew.

  “I’ll pay this time.”

  “No, I accosted you.”

  “As long as you don’t take it as an I.O.U.”

  “Done.” We shook hands. It was so early in the evening I had expected it to be cold, but it was warm, like a heater that hadn’t been turned off too long.

  The first beer went down quick. The second took longer. We didn’t talk about much. No childhood traumas or lost dreams. Instead, we watched the basketball game offhandedly, commented on other patrons, shared stupid jokes, and spent more time in silence. But it was all very reassuring that not everything ended in disappointment.

  Before I knew it, we were six beers and two shots of tequila each in debt and I was two hours late to meet Gabriel.

  “Crap!” I stumbled as I slid off the stool. “Our meeting!” My head felt detached from my body, and my shoes seemed to have anvils in them. A few drunken episodes littered my past, but this time I could swear my entire blood supply had been replaced with alcohol. This is why moderation was invented.

  Seth stood up next to me. He was a bit wobbly, too. Good. I didn’t want to seem like a lightweight.

  “Rushing off to another date, are you?” His speech was slurred.

  “I’m sure he’s long gone.”

  I had never skipped a meeting before, and could only imagine Gabriel crying in a dark corner somewhere... Yeah, right. Whatever he was up to, I had no intentions of finding out. “I’ll just text him.” I looked at the time again. “And then turn my phone off.”

  After leaving a horribly misspelled message to Gabriel, Seth and I swayed towards the door, but it was like walking in a funhouse. Hell, we were the goofy
mirrors. I bumped into his side a few times.

  Seth held his arm out and drew every word with extra effort. “I think this will go much better if we combine forces.” After a slow minute of comprehension, I realized he wanted me to hold onto his arm. After another minute of wobbly consideration, I took it. What choice did I have? Arm in arm, we stumbled onto the sidewalk. In our haze, I quietly noted how strong his arm was. It felt more than comfy in my hand. It felt right.

  By the time I figured out why we were teetering on the curb, a cab pulled up.

  “I know you planned on walking, but get real. I don’t think we could make it to that puddle over there. Anyway, I’m gonna have to eat again or I’ll have an unquenchable thirst tomorrow. Liquor always does that to me.”

  Well, the guy was smarter than I expected. About the cab. The vamp thing was his deal. I had already started worrying about my own drunken aftermath. Being somewhat superhuman meant my body would metabolize alcohol almost as fast as a vampire’s. That didn’t mean it was a cure-all for hangovers.

  It was only a five minute drive to my house. As the cab slowed, I started to fumble through various pockets for the little loop with the lone key attached.

  Seth asked, “Why didn’t you drive your car?”

  I mumbled, “I don’t own a car,” before looking up to see the quintessential sexy, black sports car parked in my driveway. It had more flare than the Batmobile.

  Visually sweeping the entry points, I saw the blinds askew in the living room. In a window I never touched. “Keep driving.”

  Someone was in my house.

  Chapter Eight

  The adrenaline was sobering as I processed the only explanation and fought away the paralysis of fear. Seth kept his mouth shut, knowing full well that his questions couldn’t be answered within earshot of the cabbie. We rode for another ten minutes before getting out in a back alley of the business section of town. It was practically deserted, which was perfect for the conversation about to take place.

  The cab was parked a good distance from us when Seth said, “So, how’s your evening so far?”

  “Well, I think there was a last-minute meeting to ransack my house. That’ll teach a girl that drinking and ignoring associates aren’t always the best career moves.”

  “Yeah, those can be hard to balance.”

  The alley was dank, poorly lit, and every word seemed to soak into the brick walls around us. In the wake of Seth’s attempt at comedy, I could hear my own breathing intermingle with his. Yes, vampires breathe. If they acted completely dead, they might as well lie down and accept it, right? Anyway, it was soothing.

  Sometimes you find yourself in the oddest moments of suspension when time is a foreign concept and you never think the moment will end. I was there.

  Shutting my eyes, I focused on Seth. After a good minute or two, I found the concentration had cleared the fog from my head. And I couldn’t have been closer to Seth if I jumped into his arms. Knowing someone is close by can actually be more comforting than touching. Maybe it’s the equivalent of knowing your parents are in the next room to save your ass if an axe murderer springs forth from the dirty clothes hamper.

  And right now, there was no hiding how serious the situation was.

  “So what’s really going on, Ell?”

  “A fallible business plan.”

  “Are you sure it’s work related? Piss any friends off lately?”

  “There’s no one else.” I took a long breath before continuing my admission. “I don’t have friends.”

  “Family?”

  I shook my head and crossed my arms. Seth tried hard to stifle the personal questions that were, no doubt, right behind his thin yet alluring lips. “Business then.” I’m glad he didn’t question my family relations. That topic was in danger of becoming taboo.

  I was almost positive I knew what was about to go down. Gabriel hadn’t exactly been suave about his suspicions. Now my home had been violated and I was left with a virtual stranger who I didn’t know if I could even trust. I wanted to. But after years of keeping this secret, I was reluctant to give in to my desire in case my heart was tainting my gut feeling. Did I trust Seth enough to share a painful part of my life with him? Or was I just looking for someone half decent to blab to so I didn’t go insane?

  Everything in me was screaming to trust him.

  It may be good for him to know. One, it would be nice if someone knew in case my body needed to be identified. And two, I wanted to find out if Seth could handle my life before I got used to his company. If I didn’t take the chance to trust him, how would I ever know?

  Spared a glance to make sure the cabbie was still reading his paper, I blurted, “Look, Seth, I’ve got to be honest. I made a decision a long time ago, and the repercussions are about to wreak a major shit storm on my life.”

  “How so?” It was nice to see that he had a serious side to balance the comedian.

  “I experience things that past Cyphers didn’t. It’s hard to give the souls back once I read them, and when I do it causes me a lot of pain.”

  “So you’re different. Not every Cypher is the same. Flukes happen.”

  I looked him in the eyes. He was so ignorant in such a blissful way. This man was optimistic. I could use a little of that. Too bad I had to kill his theory.

  “It’s not a fluke, Seth. I wish it was.”

  It was his turn to look me in the eyes. I think I saw concern. For me? I didn’t want him to worry. It seemed almost obscene when I thought about how selfish it was to wrap him up in this escapade. Then again, we had already started the dance. If I walked away now, he might follow. And his ignorance might get him killed, which would leave me torn up inside.

  Who was I kidding? The part of my brain harboring the secret had already made up its mind. Carpe Diem.

  Hands on hips, forcing myself to look at him after I scanned the alley yet again, I uttered, “I’m not the original chosen Cypher.”

  He sounded more than a little leery. “What do you mean? You were, what, runner up?”

  “No. There was a kind of last-minute executive decision.”

  It was his turn to fold his arms and look paranoid.

  Suddenly I was overwhelmed with relief, fear, and a sense of dread from finally saying it out loud. Somewhere in my unconscious though, I knew the day I had to say it out loud, confess, would be the end of it all. Not necessarily a good thing. I tried not to cry. In fact, I did a damn fine job of not crying, but my voice wouldn’t fully cooperate. It was as even as the ocean during a storm. I was about to talk openly about something that had never been discussed with anyone or even muttered to myself in the lonely darkness, for fear it would echo into the wrong ears.

  I restrained my voice as I said, “I couldn’t let her do it.”

  “Who?”

  “My sister.” The air rattled through my chest. Inhaling, I clarified, “Twin sister.”

  Seth jumped away before I finished my confession. He looked completely dumbfounded. “What?” It was as if his legs had built-in springs instead of bones. And it was amazing how a smile made him look so young, but a scowl aged him by at least ten years. Neat trick for a vampire.

  We both looked to find the cab driver still reading.

  Seth was not happy. “You’re telling me you switched places? The Members wouldn’t have agreed to that. They had to know, right? How could you get away with something like that? And if this is true—” he leaned in, voice dropping, “—If what you’re telling me is absolutely true, do you know what would happen if my kind found out? Jesus, it would start a riot. Every soul that you’ve—” he flung his hands around, “—whatevered would be under inspection! Hundreds, right? How could you do something like this? How could you fool everyone?” He gulped air before falling silent.

  I didn’t understand if he was protesting because he thought I was a sham or awestruck because I’d gotten away with it, with something that had never been done before. I hoped it was the latter because if a dim
e-store thief was angry, I was in it deep with the real bad guys.

  I didn’t know how to reply, so I said, “Apparently we didn’t fool everyone,” and shrugged.

  Seth picked up on how I was feeling because he inhaled and calmly unlatched his fingernails from his forearms. “You’re not the Cypher.”

  Words I wished I could live by. After hearing someone say it though, the tears and natty voice dissolved. I was the Cypher, damn it. I didn’t do this for my sister and me to have it all simply disintegrate. If we were found out, her life would be ruined. Better yet, the likelihood that we would both die horribly would increase about a hundred percent.

  “I am the Cypher.” There was strength in my voice. No, pride, until I uttered, “Just not first choice.” Steadily, I continued. “But what I’ve been doing has been very, very real. I just have to suffer a few karmic kinks because Gabriel’s right. My body doesn’t accept my soul’s absence like a Cypher’s normally would. Seth, if this becomes known, then I did it all for nothing.” My eyes glassed with unshed tears. “By trying to spare my sister this life, my weakness might get her killed.”

  “And you.”

  “Yes.”

  “Why do it at all? Why take her place?”

  “Because she couldn’t do it.”

  “So? There are always candidates.”

  “Not always. Sometimes the Members are lucky enough to have a handful to choose from. This time they weren’t. She was it.”

  He leaned closer, almost daring me, though equally as riveted by the tale. “Then how could you take her place?”

  “We weren’t sure if it could be done. We talked about the possibility of failure a lot before the ceremony. Neither of us was sure my soul would even leave. When it came time, well, we had to try. There was no other way. We switched places four days before the ceremony. Even our parents had no idea. And the ceremony went as planned for the Members, other than a ‘mystical interference.’”

  “Which was?”

  “My sister was present for the ceremony. We used each other for strength. I took everything I knew of myself and pushed my soul out, away from my body. I tried to reject it, but that one string hung on. Unbreakable. I could feel my heart lunging for it with every rabid beat, wrapping around it, squeezing it close. And as the Members said the final words, my sister’s soul had been listening. It left. Just like that. She didn’t have time to grab it back. It was gone. In that instant, I broke that one string and flung my soul into her...