Skinned Read online

  It wouldn't be my first choice of artwork if I only had one flat wall.

  The gorgons began chanting in a foreign tongue. Something not at all of the human world. Their tone was enchanting. It was not hard to understand their allure, even in such a provocative, predatory form. As their words lost steam, they chanted in English, "Do not fear the metamorphosis for nothing hurts in the Timeless Place."

  The Timeless Place? Those were the haunting words I spoke before turning my attacker to stone.

  "No!" I screamed. "No!"

  Without warning, my limbs froze in place. My ears, nose, mouth, and eyes sealed shut, severing my senses, leaving me stranded inside my own body. That part of me that was pure leopard shrieked, consumed by fear as if it were a flesh-eating disease. I was turning to stone piece by piece.

  Time ticked by as I felt the erratic beating of my heart systematically slow. Tick... Tick... The pressure was comparable to a large clock readying to chime, to break the seal of an unbearable silence. Tick... Each lung seized from lack of oxygen. Tick... Tick... My tongue felt too large for my mouth, pressing dangerously against the back of my throat. Tick... And my heart forgot to beat. Tick...

  The only functioning part left seemed to be my brain. I possessed the ability to think, to freak the fuck out, but nothing existed beyond the stone wall that had once been my flesh and organs.

  Just as quickly as my senses had been stolen, they zapped to life with a force greater than any power I'd ever known. While sounds quaked my eardrums, colorful backdrops sailed past at an unmatched rate that challenged my eyes to process. And a smell from every godforsaken hidie hole on earth comingled into one enormous plume of hideously spirited perfume. The confusion brought to mind a trip to the county fair. Gage had talked me into riding a towering whirly disc that left the world spinning on its axis in a sick combination of lights and sounds.

  This moment was the climax of such a hellish experience, only I felt like melting cotton candy on a hot sidewalk as the world spun by faster than my thoughts.

  Suddenly, it all stopped.

  I fell face first onto the hood of an old Corolla in the parking lot of the Knot's Landing Motel, gracefully sliding to the ground in a web of corporeal sludge from the Timeless Place.

  I would be lying if I said I bounced up, refreshed and ready to tackle the world.

  I would be lying my ass off if I said I remembered how I got covered in porcupine quills.

  Night had fallen, and I was starving.

  A group was gathered in my brother's room. The wide open door would have given them away if the noise hadn't proceeded to spill into the parking lot. And pizza. The aroma of cold pizza had never smelled so enticing.

  Creeping through the parking lot and into the back of the room, I grabbed a slice in each hand and listened as my brother, bent over a map on the table, barked orders to anyone willing to listen.

  "This will not happen on my watch! She's out there. The leopards will start our search here." He pointed to a place on the map.

  I snatched an open beer out of Petal the prairie dog's hand. She turned pale, the sight of me rendering her speechless. Ignoring her gaping mouth, I searched the room for Cody. It didn't take long to find his hat bobbing above the crowd. The lump in my throat disappeared. I was able to chug the beer in large gulps as I turned my attention back to my brother.

  His finger slid a quarter to the right of the previous spot before continuing, "The bears will take Foust and search here. The lions can start just south of there. And-" Darien's voice cut off abruptly. He raised his head, sniffing the stuffy motel air.

  As if on cue, each shifter followed his example, nostrils flaring.

  One by one, they turned, eyes transfixed on me. Holding the beer and pizza, it was easy to ignore the entrails sloughing downward, thwacking the carpet, at the bidding of gravity. Even easier to disregard the smell of discount wine and unicorn urine. If anyone else cared... Well, fuck them.

  The silence burst into a cacophony of relief.

  Lydia blurted, "I thought you'd been skinned alive!"

  "Or worse!" Warren chimed in.

  "There is nothing worse," Lydia corrected.

  Perturbed, he countered, "There are definitely worse things, Lyd."

  "Yeah, like unicorn piss." Gage wasn't one to walk away from the blunt truth, though he did step as far away from me as possible in the tightly packed room.

  Venus and Faust were the only silent shifters in the room. Deadly still.

  Darien stepped past everyone as if they weren't there, ensnaring me with his thick arms. He tucked my head under his chin and sighed, oblivious to the ooze that was rubbing off onto his clothing. The others filed quietly out of the room, even Cody.

  Blaire waited quietly, respecting the moment, though patience was not often an attribute. He certainly wasn't hiding his anger. It vibrated through the air.

  Ignoring Blaire, Darien released his death grip and held me at arm's length, maybe looking at me for the first time since I hadn't fully come back after Jack.

  I love my brother's eyes. Not because they're a particularly dull brown or because they capture the meaning of humble perfectly. Because the love he feels always shines through, speaking for his soul, just like Dad's.

  The depth of strength he tapped to settle his emotions shocked me. His voice trembled slightly as he said, "I really thought you were gone this time." And it would haunt him. I could see it warring with the love in his eyes, trying not to travel straight to his heart like a poisonous arrow.

  There was so much to say. From holding Jack's limp body in my arms to feeling myself slip away into this person I no longer recognized. And now I could either carry the secret of my saffron eyes into a new corridor of self-hatred or I could release myself from the standards that caged me.

  Feeling numb and cold, I confessed, "I've been gone."

  "I know."

  I had been so focused on what I couldn't feel that I took all of the little things for granted. The notes telling me when everyone would be home, the drive-by hugs, and the reminders to take care of myself. Reassurances that I wasn't forgotten.

  Fleeting seconds.

  The same amount of time it takes a heart to die.

  Chapter Thirteen

  After my moment of weakness, Blaire was at a loss for words. No yelling. No growling. He just walked away. I returned to my room for a long shower, checking the lock on the door three times before Cody and I laid down for bed.

  In our own beds. Thank you, will power.

  Fast forward five hours. Waking up every time Cody shifted or inhaled was working a number on my nerves. Was it too much to ask for a dreamless sleep that actually consisted of sleep?

  I jerked onto my side, fussing with my white tank as it twisted awkwardly. The streetlight pierced through my eyelids and the sheets were barely covering my feet, exposing a long line of leg up to the edge of my shorts. The sheets had felt hot and itchy. And when the fluffy pillow failed to inspire comfort or drowsiness I tossed it across the room.

  Soon after, Cody's soft steps patted across the floor as he retrieved the item of my displaced irritation. It landed next to my head, right before his body collapsed beside mine.

  I rolled over so we were face to face, only my head rested on my crooked arm while Cody's sank into the squishy pillow.

  "Want to talk about it?" he asked.

  His chest was bare, and as the streetlamp shined through the split in the curtains, I took the opportunity to let my eyes travel the illuminated line across the full rise of his muscles. The veiled light at my back created a shadow of my own outline across his.

  "Talk about what?"

  "Anything." Damn, his voice was smooth. "Everything."

  "There's not much to talk about. I live a pretty dull life."

  I could see his smile in the shadows before his laughter drifted through the early hours.

  "Any duller and it might strangle you."

  "It almost did." The faltering curv
e of my lips betrayed me as the memory of the woman in the forest came to mind. I had turned her to stone. Was she stuck in the Timeless Place, an eternal resident against her will? Was it possible for her to escape as I had done, though I couldn't remember an honest moment of being there or how I escaped?

  "How about you start with the dent in that Corolla outside. There's almost a perfect impression of your profile in the hood."

  "I turned a woman to stone," I whispered, unable to suppress my confession.

  Allowing the weight of my words to sink in, he finally asked, "How the hell is that possible?"

  "For the same reason I can see the gorgons."

  I didn't want to say it out loud. I wasn't ready to hear the words come from my own mouth explaining that I was descended from Medusa. A fucking serpente, of all things.

  "For the same reason something in here," he touched his chest over his heart, "recognizes something in there?" Cody's fingertips glided down my neck, stopping just shy of the swell of my breasts.

  I nodded. Whispering so low my words were barely words at all, I said, "I turned her to stone, and later they turned me to stone. It's how I was freed."

  "Well god damn," he whispered in reply.

  Maintaining my dejected mood, I threatened in a quiet tone, "If you tell anyone, I'll rip your tongue out and feed it to the werewolves."

  "All the more reason to use it while I've got it."

  Cody leaned in, the curve of his shoulder pressing against my body. The heat of his breath traveled across my delicate skin before I felt his tongue playfully lick my bottom lip.

  A bubble of laughter escaped.

  He did it again, forcing another laugh.

  Like the sudden torrent of a dream, the playful banter surrendered to a riptide of emotions. Cody's arm encircled me, the weight of his upper torso pinning me to the bed. I wasn't disappointed by the onslaught of attention, believe me.

  As everyone slept, we explored that invisible link binding us closer. And as my ailurian half began the demanding process of accepting this man as a potential partner, so had I taken the first steps in accepting the serpente in both of us.

  The bow of his lips created a flawless pout that weakened my resolve. I sank into his touch, lighter than I'd been in months. Holy God, I wanted to renounce my pain, scream blasphemy to the bullshit that had distorted the inner passages of my brain while I was too busy spiraling to care. But...

  Cody would be king. A clever, kind king. A serpente. And I would always be lepe first, no matter what other parts completed me. Which left scarce room for more than secret kisses in the night.

  Freeing my tangled fingers from his soft hair that smelled of sunlight and wildflowers, I forced myself to stop. Cody didn't have to ask why. He felt it too, deep down in that space that controlled the Timeless Place.

  "Yeah, I'm sure this isn't the best idea."

  "The funnest, maybe," I quipped, fighting the urge to attack him with my lips.

  Though we had stopped kissing, he had yet to release his grip from around me.

  "What's your name? Your real name?"

  "Madison, but call me..." This is where I always corrected everyone, telling them to call me Fray. I was Fray, to the core of my rotten being. But maybe, as I looked into Cody's eyes, I could stand to let Madison in on our little secret. Maybe Madison wanted something Fray couldn't have. "You can call me Madison."

  "It sounds nice. And I do believe you'll drive me mad, so there couldn't be a more perfect name." Leaning closer, he said, "Meet me again."

  "What? No. When?"

  Cody pondered. "One month from now." When I didn't answer immediately, he threatened to nibble my neck.

  "Okay!"

  I laughed, but part of me was already mourning the moment I would leave Cody to go home. Would I revert to the version of Fray that was grieving and distant? Maybe the numbness would return. Maybe I would grow blind again to the loving friends and family worried about me.

  Then that would be my own fucking fault, right? A man can't make or break who I am, damn it. I know to trust myself more than that.

  Falling sullen, I mumbled, "I have to try harder."

  "Then try harder," Cody motivated.

  "I will." Staring at his sweet face, I joked, "And you try not to turn into a power-hungry force of wild, archaic gorgon prophecy when I'm gone."

  "Are you kidding? I've waited my entire life to have an excuse to fly off the rails." Once our laughter subsided, he rested against the bed, thinking. In a more serious tone, he asked, "Do you suppose I'll be some type of monster, or will I be like the rest of them?" He teetered between worry and fear.

  "I don't know."

  Sighing heavily, Cody said, "Either way, I believe everything will be okay. I feel it. When we were on the sacred grounds, there was something settling and knowledgeable about it. What did you feel?"

  He was right. The unruly force came from the gorgons themselves, not the magic that charged the blessed grounds.

  "They breed chaos," I answered.

  "Oh my god, you are related!" he joked.

  Though I smiled, I was overcome by the familiar sense of relating more to the cause than to the cure. "I do breed chaos. A large part of me wouldn't have it any other way. But sometimes... Sometimes, I wish I could bring peace instead of disorder."

  "I think we all wish that. The hard part is recognizing your moment."

  We laid in silence, our knees touching, thinking about the changes ahead. Cody's life was practically being rewritten with every step. It was odd how willingly he embraced it. He had very little to return to, though. I suppose that made it an easier transition. My metamorphosis, however...

  What a hoax I'd been, charging through the world, naively tearing into it, never asking what it needed first. Sometimes it just needed love. But the fight always appealed more than forgiveness. The adrenaline of winning was intoxicating, and in return, it restrained me even as I felt its lies lifting me up.

  How many moments had passed me by while I floated on those lies?

  How many moments, still, would die without ever being recognized?

  Moving forward, I quietly vowed not to chase away the slivers of compassion that often went overlooked. Blatantly ignored. If I could somehow contribute to someone's healing rather than their downfall, I would choose to be the person -the shifter- I fought against being all along. Because a lot of responsibility comes with peoples' hearts. I never lacked the aptitude for sympathy, I lacked the stomach for failure.

  But failing had become old hat. I had failed those around me every day since the Dissenters changed our lives. My brother was the only one who seemed to trust that I'd find my way back. Though Tomas had trusted me all along with his son's memory, never doubting that I had done my best to save Jack.

  I shook Cody, whose breathing had now drifted into a peaceful, shallow rhythm. "Wake up!"

  "What time is it? I feel like I've only been asleep for a few minutes," he mumbled.

  "You have, but I need your help."

  We dressed quickly as I relayed my plan, hoping it wouldn't fail. Linay had returned the clothes I shed in the woods with her earlier, so I slid into the same pants that held Elder Kit's Tarot card. My fingers grazed one side of the shiny card before I shoved it back into my pocket.

  Dawn was still a wish on the horizon when I knocked lightly on Tomas' door, trying not to call attention from any of the dormant rooms.

  His hair was unkempt as he wiped the remains of sleep from his eyes. "What's wrong? Has something else happened?"

  Shaking my head, I said in a low tone, "I need to show you something. Bring your wife."

  Never questioning my intentions further, he did what I asked. They followed us as Cody and I directed our small group to the sacred grounds of the gorgons. Trespassing again, but Cody was hours away from being crowned king. What was the point of being in tight with local royalty if I couldn't break a few rules and get away with it?

  The large stones were soon in
front of us.

  "Wait here," I told Cody. "We can't risk you changing before the ceremony."

  I had only brought him as backup, in case something went terribly wrong, like the gorgons trying to suck me into their very outdated hole in the ground again. Damn, at least get an Internet connection. Their lack of social interaction really showed, and who doesn't love ordering from Prime at 2 a.m.

  Tomas helped his wife up the side of the jagged rock formation until they were standing on the smooth curve beside me.

  I confessed, "I don't know if this will work," before resting on my shins and planting my palms against the cold stone.

  The early morning air swirled and dipped around us, bringing with it a procession of aromas, from the musky leaves of the late season to the pledge of a colder than usual winter. The distinct scent of snake scales rose from the porous rocks while Tomas and his wife stood patiently, their forms softened in the shadows.

  Drawing from my last experience with Jack, I envisioned him alive, in human form. He had come to me once before when I needed protection. This time, I was channeling his energy, asking him to appear in flesh and bone not because I was in trouble, but because it might save a small piece of his parents from dying with him. This place was full of gorgon magic, and as Medusa's descendant, I was able to fill my being with said magic. Maybe my newfound power would never work beyond these sacred grounds. For now, however, I would use every bit allotted by those ancient weirdoes to help the couple standing in front of me and boy sealed in my heart.

  I made eye contact with Tomas. By the intent expression in his eyes, he knew exactly what I was trying to do and he wanted it more than any of us. Maybe even more than the woman by his side, hands clasped together, eyes staring downward.

  No one missed Jack more than his own mother, but Tomas had lost everything. With Jack, so went the red-haired love Tomas had built a life around. And now, in a permanently quiet household, he struggled to conjure the energy to face each tomorrow, knowing it would be exactly like today.

  Ignoring the ever-mounting serpente aura, I focused solely on Jack. His scent. His presence. His smile.

  Cody stood guard, ready to intercept anyone, serpente or gorgon, who might challenge what I was trying to do. I looked to him for support. With a small nod of his head, my heart fluttered.